When I was two years old, I made my first friend. She lived across the alley from the house I grew up in, and I still remember the first time I saw her -- she was so excited that a little girl her age had moved so close that she came running out of the house and almost fell down the back porch stairs.
We stayed friends through thick and thin, long silences, and moves on both our parts. We were maid of honor at each others' weddings and I am officially godmother to her oldest child, though I consider all three my godchildren.
When I was five years old, I made my second friend. She was seven years old, and lived two houses down. I remember seeing her play in her back yard, her long red ponytails flying around her freckled face. Through our teen years, we shared confidences, tears, and fun, including many a long summer evening listening to music and pondering the future.
She was, and still is, one of my closest friends, despite distance and differing schedules complicated by time zones. Although she cut her hair short years ago, my first image of her stays with me.
These two friends, over 40 years later, are still the ones I can talk to no matter what, no matter the issue. Sometimes we don't talk for months but when we do talk, it's like we just spoke last week. These connections are deeper than just friendship; they seem almost programmed in our DNA because they were forged so early and grew stronger over so many years.
True connections last, no matter what, no matter when. Time, distance, disagreements, life changes -- you know these people will be there and care because you feel it. Those we have true connections with make us feel important no matter how long it's been since we talked; you always have that feeling inside that everything is okay with them and with you. It's hard to explain, but the feeling exists and you just have to listen to it.
I have been thinking about this alot lately because I have recently realized that several long-time connections that I thought were in the "true connection" category turned out not to be. While it was a painful discovery full of emotional pain and disappointment, it is clear to me now that this was going to happen eventually. I made a bad judgment, and it's unfortunate, but also very human.
It is very human because the need to connect on a deeper level than talking about the weather is something inside all of us. We seek it even where it doesn't truly exist. Social media, that great electronic boogeyman, is just another flailing attempt to find someone that you can build a true connection with, the kind of connection that doesn't break.
Are pixels and wifi waves sturdy enough stuff to become the ties that bind? Or will these just put more distance between us as we fuss over our Facebook pages instead of really getting to know each other?
Do we truly connect with instant messages instead of actual conversations? I've heard stories about young people sitting right next to each other and texting instead of talking, tiny cell phones becoming walls instead of connections. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but I doubt that it is the soul of true connection.
Much is being made about social media, and many are saying "we have to do this" for a variety of reasons. But just because we can do a thing doesn't mean we should do a thing; it seems to me that too many want to replace interaction with electronics.
A true connection can be found in unlikely places, and very few of these come from tapping on a keyboard or punching too tiny keys on a PDA.